Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Lies We Lie and the Webs We Do Weave

We all lie all the time. We lie to the government, to our bosses, to our children, to our spouses, and most of all to ourselves. We do this by many ways and means. Let's take a look at a few of them.

The White Lie-aka the relationship saver- This type of lie makes the world go round. It facilitates the most basic but profound social transaction, being nice/polite. Go ahead and tell the absolute truth all day and see what happens. You will experience one human land mine after another resulting in unemployment, divorce, and utter loneliness. Sure, be my guest and tell your lover she looks fat in that dress, tell your boss how you want it done from here on in, tell your child what that word really means, tell your professor how much you love extra assignments, tell that judge/cop what justice should really look like.
Go ahead and try it sometime. It's not just a little white lie folks, but rather the foundation of civility in modern society today!

Facades- We all project things about ourselves that can be anything from exaggerations to bold face lies. These are our the masks we wear to be accepted or in hope of being like and respected.
this can be anything from pretending you have another occupation, acting like we are nicer/harder then we really are, to claiming false accomplishments, claiming to know famous or influential people.

Ignoring the facts- This is a self-defense mechanisms people unawareingly use to stop information from getting in their head that might contradict or undermine their current value system. People unfortunately seek out information and opinions that mirror their own instead of letting the information itself lead them to an independent conclusion, not a pre-determined one.

Deflecting- A wise man once said " when it comes to blame, it is far better to give than receive."
This is a great one for both home and office. When someone shoots you an insult or accusation, just don't automatically go on the defensive and try to explain or deny it away. No, just deflect it and spin it on to someone else, hell anyone else. This is a mandatory lie along with white lies deemed necessary for any conventional modern relationship to be successful.

Omission- This isn't really lying, is it? You did not directly tell a lie, but it is deceptive either way. If you omit something important in a business transaction, you can be liable for lack of disclosure. Omitting is lying no matter how hard one rationalizes.

Stereotypes- It is a type of lie that lumps everyone of a certain group together with a less than flattering label. People do this to harm other people via rumor and oversimplification. Even if some of the themes are basically true, you can't lump all people together in wide sweeping generalized statements usually meant to slander.

Group Think- This happens to people who follow other people's ideas, dogmas, or doctrines. Especially in cults, churches, and over authoritarian organizations. But, it can be found in families, peer groups of any sort, Schools, and the work place. It is when you ignore all opposing information to the groups philosophy.

Delusion- When one's imagination starts to supersede reality. This one scares me a little bit. Let's not just ignore the facts, deflect, or present a false facade but rather alter and twist reality into something more of your liking, scary. The best examples of this today are religious fanatics of any persuasion.

Dismissal- The ultimate insult really. Your ideas are so stupid or absurd that they are not even acknowledged. One can tear down an idea or the person expressing it in a infinite amount of ways. But, what is far worse then any of that? The notion that the idea or person is so wrong that it/they are not even addressed but simultaneously invalidated.

No comments:

Post a Comment